Heya Guys
A Lot Has Happened Since My Last post.
One Main Thing is That I Am Currently Single Lol And To Be Honest, It Has Been Great Since.
Spent Many Days With My Mates And Fellow Brotherhood Members Verbish, Smoo, Beth, Leanne, Eimi and Michael Allgood
I Really Do not Know What To Write about So Im gonna Write about Me
I am part Cyborg. It's led to some complications in my long, long life (i was 203 when i first time travelled from the future). When i was young i was unsure whether i was attracted to human women, or microwaves. As a result, ive had many parts melted and replaced, before settling down into the Brotherhood.
Of the four founders of the Brotherhood, I was recruited last, but i did know the other founders quite well, sometimes intimately. However, one did not remember his name for many years (COUGHPopeStanislavVICOUGH).
I mainly habits the sillier-sounding parts of Shrewsbury, such as Sundorne and Ditherington but am spending more time in the middle of the Town Centre. I spent a few years building robots and adding pieces of kidnapped women in attempts to build something somewhat humanoid.
Now Those of you who read the website may seem to think that they have read this before or summat similar - but hey, next time i do a blog it will be completely my own work
for those who havnt read the website please go to "www.brotherhood8112.jimdo.com"
This Is Dan - Over And Out
Friday 3 September 2010
Wednesday 3 February 2010
02/02/2010 - Suffering, Believing, No Fear
This Week I Shall Be Connecting Three Verses From The Bible From Three Different Books
A Few Weeks Ago I Came Across A Few Verses And Wanted To Talk About Them So One Day Whilst Meeting Up With Nick Priggis, We Discussed These Verses And This Is What We Talked About.
The First Verse Is "JOB 13:1-12"
My eyes have seen all this, my ears have heard and understood it. What you know, I also know; I am not inferior to you. But I desire to speak to the Almighty and to argue my case with God. You, however, smear me with lies; you are worthless physicians, all of you! If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom. Hear now my argument; listen to the plea of my lips. Will you speak wickedly on God's behalf ? Will you speak deceitfully for him? Will you show him partiality? Will you argue the case for God? Would it turn out well if he examined you? Could you deceive him as you might deceive men? He would surely rebuke you if you secretly showed partiality. Would not his splendor terrify you? Would not the dread of him fall on you? Your maxims are proverbs of ashes; your defenses are defenses of clay
Job Had To Deal With Suffering In His Life. God Granted Satan Permission To Strip Job Of His Possessions And His Family And To Afflict Him With Excruciating Boils. Job At First Accepted His Plight, Saying, "The LORD Gave, And The LORD Has Taken Away; Blessed Be The Name Of The LORD" (Job 1:21).
In The Verse Written Above, Job Was Responding To What Zophar Was Saying (Job 11:1-20) After The Events Of His Suffering.
------
The Next Verse Is Matthew 28:5-10
The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you." So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me."
If you set the story of Jesus's ressurection aside and read this verse as it stands. its as if the Angel is telling the woman to seek Jesus and Tell everyone about him
Seek and you will find
------
The Final Verse is "Luke 10:18-20"
He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."
This verse basicly implies "No Fear". If you are facing an enemy you do not need to fear it. God is watching over you and he will guide you and help you when you are in trouble.
-----
those are the verse with a brief summary/write-up of things that were discussed.
Put together you have "Suffering - Believing/Seeking Jesus - No Fear"
People suffer in this world in many different ways. Some of these people then turn to Jesus for guidance and help with what they are in need of. And then in time if they truly believe, They shall not fear as by believing in God the Father, God the Son and God the Spirit, they will have eternal life,
I know some of my information on some of these verses maybe incorrect, but this is how ive seen them, and i believe a message has been written within these verses.
Also I cant remember everything that was discussed when me and Nick were talking about this so some bits might be a bit confusing.
----------------
On The Upcoming Sunday (07/02/2010) i am getting Baptised, so my next blog post (which will be on the 10th February) will be on the Baptism service and my experience from that day.
A Few Weeks Ago I Came Across A Few Verses And Wanted To Talk About Them So One Day Whilst Meeting Up With Nick Priggis, We Discussed These Verses And This Is What We Talked About.
The First Verse Is "JOB 13:1-12"
My eyes have seen all this, my ears have heard and understood it. What you know, I also know; I am not inferior to you. But I desire to speak to the Almighty and to argue my case with God. You, however, smear me with lies; you are worthless physicians, all of you! If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom. Hear now my argument; listen to the plea of my lips. Will you speak wickedly on God's behalf ? Will you speak deceitfully for him? Will you show him partiality? Will you argue the case for God? Would it turn out well if he examined you? Could you deceive him as you might deceive men? He would surely rebuke you if you secretly showed partiality. Would not his splendor terrify you? Would not the dread of him fall on you? Your maxims are proverbs of ashes; your defenses are defenses of clay
Job Had To Deal With Suffering In His Life. God Granted Satan Permission To Strip Job Of His Possessions And His Family And To Afflict Him With Excruciating Boils. Job At First Accepted His Plight, Saying, "The LORD Gave, And The LORD Has Taken Away; Blessed Be The Name Of The LORD" (Job 1:21).
In The Verse Written Above, Job Was Responding To What Zophar Was Saying (Job 11:1-20) After The Events Of His Suffering.
------
The Next Verse Is Matthew 28:5-10
The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you." So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me."
If you set the story of Jesus's ressurection aside and read this verse as it stands. its as if the Angel is telling the woman to seek Jesus and Tell everyone about him
Seek and you will find
------
The Final Verse is "Luke 10:18-20"
He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."
This verse basicly implies "No Fear". If you are facing an enemy you do not need to fear it. God is watching over you and he will guide you and help you when you are in trouble.
-----
those are the verse with a brief summary/write-up of things that were discussed.
Put together you have "Suffering - Believing/Seeking Jesus - No Fear"
People suffer in this world in many different ways. Some of these people then turn to Jesus for guidance and help with what they are in need of. And then in time if they truly believe, They shall not fear as by believing in God the Father, God the Son and God the Spirit, they will have eternal life,
I know some of my information on some of these verses maybe incorrect, but this is how ive seen them, and i believe a message has been written within these verses.
Also I cant remember everything that was discussed when me and Nick were talking about this so some bits might be a bit confusing.
----------------
On The Upcoming Sunday (07/02/2010) i am getting Baptised, so my next blog post (which will be on the 10th February) will be on the Baptism service and my experience from that day.
Wednesday 27 January 2010
27/01/2010 - Choices - The Right Way Or The Easy Way
Started As Everyone Does By Waking Up At 9:10AM after about 1/2 hours sleep because of summat bad happenin the night before but i wont go into anymore detail about that.
at about 10 o clock i left the house and headed from greenfields (where i live) to the town centre.
so my journey went like this
Greenfields - Town Centre
Town Centre - Wyle Cop/Dogpole
Wyle Cop/Dogpole - English Bridge
From The English Bridge to walking down the river past Monkmoor To a place i think was called darville or summat like that - then took a path from there to sundourne Then a path up to haughmond hill.
i came to a fork in the pathway - one lead around the base of the hill gradually gettin up and the other lead up the steep rocky side of the hill. i wanted to go the easy but something in my mind was making me think "go the hard way, go up the rocky side" so i did and regardless of nearly falling a few times, i still carried on until i reached the top. when i reached the top i then decided to go back down and go down the othe path so i went back down the steep side and got onto the other path and kept on walking.
went past the place me and debbie spend our 1st day together as a couple just over 6mnths ago which brought back some memories. i carried on walking, past the Haughmond Abbey into the Abbey Wood where there was another fork in the path - i didnt know where any lead so i went by instinct and took the left path which took me quite deep into the woods and i ended up getting lost and lost my path, but found it again which was good.
i was on a wide path and the edge of the wood was near but i stopped and looked around me - i saw the path i was on which was wide and easy but saw loads of challenging ways around me so i decided to go along one of them. got a lot of scratches from it and got very very lost, it took a while before i found the path again. i reached the edge of the wood and then decided to turn back and head back to shrewsbury.
my mind started to wander as i was walking back and suddenly a thought popped into my head which was "one path is wide and easy to follow whilst Gods path is narrower and harder to stay on" with this thought in mind i retraced my steps - firstly back to haughmond hill - maybe god was testing me to see which path i would take, the easy or the difficult - same again with the path near the edge of the woods.
what i finally realised in my mind is that if you are on Gods path, it is hard to follow, there can be pain and some sacrifices need to be made (in this case bits of my leg from thorns) but the end of the path is so much more worthwhile than the easy path.
in relation to life, we all have a choice, we all have a path to follow - which path we decide is up to us but God is watching over us and helps us find our way onto the right path if we are on the wrong path - and he aids us when we are on the right path and urges us to keep on going.
If we set our mind to say "I CAN DO THIS" then i believe we have the potential to do whatever that thing is - like me and the steep rocky side of haughmond hill, i kept on going even though i slipped a few times.
Well Thats My Experience from Today - Hope You Enjoyed Reading - Gives Us A Comment If You Want
Daniel Ashley
at about 10 o clock i left the house and headed from greenfields (where i live) to the town centre.
so my journey went like this
Greenfields - Town Centre
Town Centre - Wyle Cop/Dogpole
Wyle Cop/Dogpole - English Bridge
From The English Bridge to walking down the river past Monkmoor To a place i think was called darville or summat like that - then took a path from there to sundourne Then a path up to haughmond hill.
i came to a fork in the pathway - one lead around the base of the hill gradually gettin up and the other lead up the steep rocky side of the hill. i wanted to go the easy but something in my mind was making me think "go the hard way, go up the rocky side" so i did and regardless of nearly falling a few times, i still carried on until i reached the top. when i reached the top i then decided to go back down and go down the othe path so i went back down the steep side and got onto the other path and kept on walking.
went past the place me and debbie spend our 1st day together as a couple just over 6mnths ago which brought back some memories. i carried on walking, past the Haughmond Abbey into the Abbey Wood where there was another fork in the path - i didnt know where any lead so i went by instinct and took the left path which took me quite deep into the woods and i ended up getting lost and lost my path, but found it again which was good.
i was on a wide path and the edge of the wood was near but i stopped and looked around me - i saw the path i was on which was wide and easy but saw loads of challenging ways around me so i decided to go along one of them. got a lot of scratches from it and got very very lost, it took a while before i found the path again. i reached the edge of the wood and then decided to turn back and head back to shrewsbury.
my mind started to wander as i was walking back and suddenly a thought popped into my head which was "one path is wide and easy to follow whilst Gods path is narrower and harder to stay on" with this thought in mind i retraced my steps - firstly back to haughmond hill - maybe god was testing me to see which path i would take, the easy or the difficult - same again with the path near the edge of the woods.
what i finally realised in my mind is that if you are on Gods path, it is hard to follow, there can be pain and some sacrifices need to be made (in this case bits of my leg from thorns) but the end of the path is so much more worthwhile than the easy path.
in relation to life, we all have a choice, we all have a path to follow - which path we decide is up to us but God is watching over us and helps us find our way onto the right path if we are on the wrong path - and he aids us when we are on the right path and urges us to keep on going.
If we set our mind to say "I CAN DO THIS" then i believe we have the potential to do whatever that thing is - like me and the steep rocky side of haughmond hill, i kept on going even though i slipped a few times.
Well Thats My Experience from Today - Hope You Enjoyed Reading - Gives Us A Comment If You Want
Daniel Ashley
Tuesday 5 January 2010
My Testimony
Hello. My name is Dan, I am currently 18 years old and am living in Shrewsbury, and this is my story.
I didn’t grow up in a Christian family but from the age of 4 I began learning about God through Christian youth groups like Holiday Bible Club (HBC) and Venturers, both were based at the Baptist Church in Wem. I continued going to these clubs until I became too old, in which I went from Venturers to YPF (Young Persons Fellowship). My parent divorced when I was 9 years old and so I lived with mum and didn’t see my dad that often.
I rarely went to church on a Sunday but still carried on going to these youth groups on a weekly basis. YPF every year had an away trip called YPF weekend away, which I went to for about 3 years in a row. The last one I went to was at a place called Dyke house, but I can’t remember the town. I was 13/14 when I went on this particular weekend away. During one of the talks, the speaker at the time was talking about receiving and welcoming the lord into our hearts and something about what he was saying really struck something in my mind. After the talk, I walked onto the grounds of the place we were staying and kept on thinking to myself “what do I do?”
At this point I went into the boy’s dormitory and got out my bible and began to read it thoroughly hoping for a sign. I came across a verse which had previously been used as a memory verse in YPF. Psalm 145:13 - “The Lord Is Faithful To All His Promises”. For some reason this verse made me realise that God is always there and I knew I had to ask him personally into my life. So I prayed out loud for the first time but I was sitting alone at the time. During the evening talk on that same day, I felt a really warm feeling just flow through me; I wasn’t a feeling like any I had ever experienced before. I asked my youth leader Peter about it and he said that from what I was describing, it sounded like the spirit of God was flowing through me. From then on, I went to church in both mornings in Prees and evenings in Wem almost every week. When I was nearly 15 I think, I went to my sisters Baptism at the Wem Baptist Church, and I felt so proud that God was moving through the family. Sadly that wouldn’t last. My sister then stopped going to church after meeting a non Christian guy and she didn’t seem to believe anymore.
I still went to YPF every week without fail unless I had a really good reason, and one of my friends Naomi, started becoming a really close mate and we then started going out at the beginning of year 11. We still went to YPF together but occasionally ran off n hid just so we could spend time with each other. 6months later, not long after Valentine’s Day, me and Naomi split up ad I became one of the quietest people in school. This is where a change in me started, I rarely spoke aloud in school to anyone, not even the teachers and some of my friends started to turn away. At the end of year 11 I started becoming open and sociable again. Had a lot of fun with my friends at the school prom (occasionally making a fool of myself air guitaring to bon jovi). Then came my 16th birthday and my GCSE exams. I don’t remember much from this period in time apart from after my exams were finished, I went to Canada for 6 weeks and stayed with my granddad. Throughout all this time, I felt guilty for not attending church as often as I used to, and kept on thinking “I’ve got to act on this”. Every weekend I rang my Mum to see how she was and my Aunts house as my dad was staying there for a bit at the time, and kept in touch with him. I got back from Canada and spend most of the summer holidays with my dad. I was old enough to make my own way to him and back again so I was able to do so a lot.
September 2007 I started college in Wem taking Film Studies A/s, Media National, ASDAN/Cope Level 3 and Maths GCSE as I didn’t do too well in that subject. About 2 weeks into the new term, I found out that my dad went into hospital, and I started becoming distant from people again as I wanted time to myself a lot. For dads birthday, myself, my sister and my brother went to the hospital for a surprise visit. The look on his face filled my heart with joy because I knew that seeing us, made his day. October 1st 2007 started out as any other day, got up went to college, came back home. Around 5.30 in the evening, I was on the computer and then my mum calls me into the next room, (my brother was at a friend’s and my sister was at university so I was the only child in the house), it was when I walked into the front room where I received the news that my dad had passed away. Having seen him the night before, I at first found it really hard to believe, but then I just fell into my mum’s arms. We went to the university to find my sister, tell her what had happened and bring her home, by which time my brother would have been home.
Mum said to me not to go to college the next day but I did because I knew that if I stayed at home, my dad would be the only thing on my mind and I thought Maybe College would help relax me a bit.
In my mind I was angry at God for taking away the most important person in my life at a young age. At this point I started becoming against religion all together.
A few months passed by and me and my mum were arguing constantly, I was a completely different person to who I was before I heard about my dad. I became more of a rebel to everything, listened to demonic music, hung round with people who smoked a lot etc. I wasn’t in my right state of mind. I started going out with a girl called Matisse, I knew her from Venturers and YPF from years ago and we got on really well. But problems at home were continuous and I became upset and depressed just at the thought of going back every day after college. March 19th 2008 the college receptionist came to my lesson and called me out saying my mum was waiting for me, I felt the adrenaline being pumped around but it was actually my aunt and Nan. That was the day I moved out of Prees into Shrewsbury. Problems still arose even there which upset Nan and my aunt Ceri a lot, I kept on thinking, when will life be normal again.
I dropped out of Wem College after my A/s exams and applied for Telford new college which I successfully got into, but in the summer of 2008, Matisse broke up with me via email whilst she was in France. I had made a lot of new friends in Shrewsbury and they comforted me and were really there for me, more than any friends have done before. During the same summer, I got with a girl called Rose (Nicknamed “Pinkie”) and that was when I really went downhill. I started smoking for a few months, had alcohol occasionally and became a really dark minded person outside of the house; inside I tried to still be myself but was finding it hard because of the changes I had made to myself. But I didn’t want to upset my Aunt and Nan. It was like I was leading a double life. End of March 2009 was when I started to realise what I was becoming and started to try and get my life back, I broke up with pinkie for the 1st time, but she then cut her wrists deeply whilst on the phone to me, so I went back out with her to stop her from doing things to herself. I then began to feel as if I was only with her to keep her away from harm, and my love for her went away. We broke up for a second time in June but once again got back together. I made a dramatic change during this month though thanks to a girl I met after college one day. One Monday after college I met Debbie and she mentioned that she was a Christian and that sparked something in my mind, and I started to realise who I was again and where I belonged. My aunt got to know a woman called Lisa from “North Shrewsbury Community Church” and Tasha Groves from Barnabos through toddler groups and so she started going to some church services, the same church which Debbie went to.
I realised what I needed to do, I broke up with pinkie for the final time and started to get out of the music I was listening to and the clothes I was wearing. I was forcing myself to get away from the person I had been living as. I started going out with Debbie, attended Church weekly again, joined Nick Priggis’s Life group, and fusion. Mark Cuthbert, Nick Priggis and John Hillier made me feel so welcome when I came to north Shrewsbury for the first time, I was treated as if I had been there for a long time. I felt as I f I was part of something real again. I had some meetings with Phil Whittall which helped me get to know him more, helped him know more about me and my background, and he lent me some books which he thought were going to help me. One book called “God On Mute” was the first of these books I read and the author had a similar situation with his wife that I did with my dad and it really helped me understand.
I started getting to know more about God both by myself and with help from some people in the church. My friends noticed that I seemed a lot happier and had more self control. Since I joined NSCC, I have had two particular images in my mind and one verse. One image was the earth with my hand and another hand, which brought back the verse “The Lord Is Faithful To All His Promises” which made me realise that no matter what step/path we take, God is always there to hold our hands. The other image I saw a few times but with a slight alteration each time. It started out with me in a dark room with a small spotlight shining on me. As the weeks went by the light got brighter and brighter until all I saw was pure white. This I believe is a sign of how God is growing and working inside of me, and even now I still look back on them images and relate them from then to now.
I signed up for the Alpha Course which I thought was brilliant, I got to hear other Christians testimonies, hear stories from the bible and learn more about different aspects of Christianity. The Alpha Away Day was the day I felt the Holy Spirit for definite and had made my decision to follow Christ. I spoke in tongues for the first time and had images of prophecy in my mind.
A few weeks ago I went to whitchurch to hear Mike Pilavachi speak, and on the way home from that, I got an image in my mind of my old house and my stepdad and in my mind I was thinking, “I should go back for a visit”. I originally planned it for an evening after college, but then I got the feeling that and evening won’t be enough so on Friday 27th November 2009; I went back to Prees and stayed overnight. I found the bible I was given when I was 7 by the leaders at Venturers, which also had my old bookmarks from my favourite verses in. The Friday went well but the Saturday unfortunately didn’t go so well, so I can only pray that next time it goes better. But I know that god is happy that I tried to set things right, but sometimes things take time. I strongly say that now, I know God is there everywhere I go, no matter what challenge I face, or if I feel alone, I know I’m never going to be alone because through God and through the church, I have the largest and most loving family I’ll ever need.
Years ago, whenever Jesus was mentioned, I used to think; he was someone who was there whenever you needed him, like a backseat driver. But now I feel like he is in control of my life. Leading me on to where he wants me to and to help me stay on his path.
Jesus to me is a leader, a teacher and someone who you can talk to about absolutely anything. No matter how helpful people are with certain situations, Jesus has helped me pull through.
Thanks to Jesus, I have become a much better person both inside an outside than I have before. Im more open with my thoughts and have a much clearer and wider mind about things unlike the extremely narrow mind which I used to have.
I want to be a follower of Jesus, a disciple of Jesus; I want to be in his image.
There are 4 words which i’ve been thinking about and sticking to for the past few months or so. They are Repent, Believe, Baptise and Receive. I plan to stick to these 4 words throughout my journey in Christ.
These past few months have been some of the best in my life so far, and through God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, I can only see it getting better. I know that there are some things i've got to do myself but I know that God will be there to guide me and help me choose and stay on the right path.
I thank you for your time in listening to my story.
I didn’t grow up in a Christian family but from the age of 4 I began learning about God through Christian youth groups like Holiday Bible Club (HBC) and Venturers, both were based at the Baptist Church in Wem. I continued going to these clubs until I became too old, in which I went from Venturers to YPF (Young Persons Fellowship). My parent divorced when I was 9 years old and so I lived with mum and didn’t see my dad that often.
I rarely went to church on a Sunday but still carried on going to these youth groups on a weekly basis. YPF every year had an away trip called YPF weekend away, which I went to for about 3 years in a row. The last one I went to was at a place called Dyke house, but I can’t remember the town. I was 13/14 when I went on this particular weekend away. During one of the talks, the speaker at the time was talking about receiving and welcoming the lord into our hearts and something about what he was saying really struck something in my mind. After the talk, I walked onto the grounds of the place we were staying and kept on thinking to myself “what do I do?”
At this point I went into the boy’s dormitory and got out my bible and began to read it thoroughly hoping for a sign. I came across a verse which had previously been used as a memory verse in YPF. Psalm 145:13 - “The Lord Is Faithful To All His Promises”. For some reason this verse made me realise that God is always there and I knew I had to ask him personally into my life. So I prayed out loud for the first time but I was sitting alone at the time. During the evening talk on that same day, I felt a really warm feeling just flow through me; I wasn’t a feeling like any I had ever experienced before. I asked my youth leader Peter about it and he said that from what I was describing, it sounded like the spirit of God was flowing through me. From then on, I went to church in both mornings in Prees and evenings in Wem almost every week. When I was nearly 15 I think, I went to my sisters Baptism at the Wem Baptist Church, and I felt so proud that God was moving through the family. Sadly that wouldn’t last. My sister then stopped going to church after meeting a non Christian guy and she didn’t seem to believe anymore.
I still went to YPF every week without fail unless I had a really good reason, and one of my friends Naomi, started becoming a really close mate and we then started going out at the beginning of year 11. We still went to YPF together but occasionally ran off n hid just so we could spend time with each other. 6months later, not long after Valentine’s Day, me and Naomi split up ad I became one of the quietest people in school. This is where a change in me started, I rarely spoke aloud in school to anyone, not even the teachers and some of my friends started to turn away. At the end of year 11 I started becoming open and sociable again. Had a lot of fun with my friends at the school prom (occasionally making a fool of myself air guitaring to bon jovi). Then came my 16th birthday and my GCSE exams. I don’t remember much from this period in time apart from after my exams were finished, I went to Canada for 6 weeks and stayed with my granddad. Throughout all this time, I felt guilty for not attending church as often as I used to, and kept on thinking “I’ve got to act on this”. Every weekend I rang my Mum to see how she was and my Aunts house as my dad was staying there for a bit at the time, and kept in touch with him. I got back from Canada and spend most of the summer holidays with my dad. I was old enough to make my own way to him and back again so I was able to do so a lot.
September 2007 I started college in Wem taking Film Studies A/s, Media National, ASDAN/Cope Level 3 and Maths GCSE as I didn’t do too well in that subject. About 2 weeks into the new term, I found out that my dad went into hospital, and I started becoming distant from people again as I wanted time to myself a lot. For dads birthday, myself, my sister and my brother went to the hospital for a surprise visit. The look on his face filled my heart with joy because I knew that seeing us, made his day. October 1st 2007 started out as any other day, got up went to college, came back home. Around 5.30 in the evening, I was on the computer and then my mum calls me into the next room, (my brother was at a friend’s and my sister was at university so I was the only child in the house), it was when I walked into the front room where I received the news that my dad had passed away. Having seen him the night before, I at first found it really hard to believe, but then I just fell into my mum’s arms. We went to the university to find my sister, tell her what had happened and bring her home, by which time my brother would have been home.
Mum said to me not to go to college the next day but I did because I knew that if I stayed at home, my dad would be the only thing on my mind and I thought Maybe College would help relax me a bit.
In my mind I was angry at God for taking away the most important person in my life at a young age. At this point I started becoming against religion all together.
A few months passed by and me and my mum were arguing constantly, I was a completely different person to who I was before I heard about my dad. I became more of a rebel to everything, listened to demonic music, hung round with people who smoked a lot etc. I wasn’t in my right state of mind. I started going out with a girl called Matisse, I knew her from Venturers and YPF from years ago and we got on really well. But problems at home were continuous and I became upset and depressed just at the thought of going back every day after college. March 19th 2008 the college receptionist came to my lesson and called me out saying my mum was waiting for me, I felt the adrenaline being pumped around but it was actually my aunt and Nan. That was the day I moved out of Prees into Shrewsbury. Problems still arose even there which upset Nan and my aunt Ceri a lot, I kept on thinking, when will life be normal again.
I dropped out of Wem College after my A/s exams and applied for Telford new college which I successfully got into, but in the summer of 2008, Matisse broke up with me via email whilst she was in France. I had made a lot of new friends in Shrewsbury and they comforted me and were really there for me, more than any friends have done before. During the same summer, I got with a girl called Rose (Nicknamed “Pinkie”) and that was when I really went downhill. I started smoking for a few months, had alcohol occasionally and became a really dark minded person outside of the house; inside I tried to still be myself but was finding it hard because of the changes I had made to myself. But I didn’t want to upset my Aunt and Nan. It was like I was leading a double life. End of March 2009 was when I started to realise what I was becoming and started to try and get my life back, I broke up with pinkie for the 1st time, but she then cut her wrists deeply whilst on the phone to me, so I went back out with her to stop her from doing things to herself. I then began to feel as if I was only with her to keep her away from harm, and my love for her went away. We broke up for a second time in June but once again got back together. I made a dramatic change during this month though thanks to a girl I met after college one day. One Monday after college I met Debbie and she mentioned that she was a Christian and that sparked something in my mind, and I started to realise who I was again and where I belonged. My aunt got to know a woman called Lisa from “North Shrewsbury Community Church” and Tasha Groves from Barnabos through toddler groups and so she started going to some church services, the same church which Debbie went to.
I realised what I needed to do, I broke up with pinkie for the final time and started to get out of the music I was listening to and the clothes I was wearing. I was forcing myself to get away from the person I had been living as. I started going out with Debbie, attended Church weekly again, joined Nick Priggis’s Life group, and fusion. Mark Cuthbert, Nick Priggis and John Hillier made me feel so welcome when I came to north Shrewsbury for the first time, I was treated as if I had been there for a long time. I felt as I f I was part of something real again. I had some meetings with Phil Whittall which helped me get to know him more, helped him know more about me and my background, and he lent me some books which he thought were going to help me. One book called “God On Mute” was the first of these books I read and the author had a similar situation with his wife that I did with my dad and it really helped me understand.
I started getting to know more about God both by myself and with help from some people in the church. My friends noticed that I seemed a lot happier and had more self control. Since I joined NSCC, I have had two particular images in my mind and one verse. One image was the earth with my hand and another hand, which brought back the verse “The Lord Is Faithful To All His Promises” which made me realise that no matter what step/path we take, God is always there to hold our hands. The other image I saw a few times but with a slight alteration each time. It started out with me in a dark room with a small spotlight shining on me. As the weeks went by the light got brighter and brighter until all I saw was pure white. This I believe is a sign of how God is growing and working inside of me, and even now I still look back on them images and relate them from then to now.
I signed up for the Alpha Course which I thought was brilliant, I got to hear other Christians testimonies, hear stories from the bible and learn more about different aspects of Christianity. The Alpha Away Day was the day I felt the Holy Spirit for definite and had made my decision to follow Christ. I spoke in tongues for the first time and had images of prophecy in my mind.
A few weeks ago I went to whitchurch to hear Mike Pilavachi speak, and on the way home from that, I got an image in my mind of my old house and my stepdad and in my mind I was thinking, “I should go back for a visit”. I originally planned it for an evening after college, but then I got the feeling that and evening won’t be enough so on Friday 27th November 2009; I went back to Prees and stayed overnight. I found the bible I was given when I was 7 by the leaders at Venturers, which also had my old bookmarks from my favourite verses in. The Friday went well but the Saturday unfortunately didn’t go so well, so I can only pray that next time it goes better. But I know that god is happy that I tried to set things right, but sometimes things take time. I strongly say that now, I know God is there everywhere I go, no matter what challenge I face, or if I feel alone, I know I’m never going to be alone because through God and through the church, I have the largest and most loving family I’ll ever need.
Years ago, whenever Jesus was mentioned, I used to think; he was someone who was there whenever you needed him, like a backseat driver. But now I feel like he is in control of my life. Leading me on to where he wants me to and to help me stay on his path.
Jesus to me is a leader, a teacher and someone who you can talk to about absolutely anything. No matter how helpful people are with certain situations, Jesus has helped me pull through.
Thanks to Jesus, I have become a much better person both inside an outside than I have before. Im more open with my thoughts and have a much clearer and wider mind about things unlike the extremely narrow mind which I used to have.
I want to be a follower of Jesus, a disciple of Jesus; I want to be in his image.
There are 4 words which i’ve been thinking about and sticking to for the past few months or so. They are Repent, Believe, Baptise and Receive. I plan to stick to these 4 words throughout my journey in Christ.
These past few months have been some of the best in my life so far, and through God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, I can only see it getting better. I know that there are some things i've got to do myself but I know that God will be there to guide me and help me choose and stay on the right path.
I thank you for your time in listening to my story.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
